It is quite a while since my last blog entry.
I just read my blog entry last year aroudn Easter. Well I got the same Easter message this year – again, from John 21! This time I pondered more on whether I love Jesus “more than these." Another component I reflected on was the 153 fish in their final catch after a night of fruitless labor. Upon the instruction of Christ to “cast the net on the right-hand side of the boat” they caught a great number of fish, too heavy to haul back to the shore. This message was very relevant because I was concerned about financial needs – not that we are lacking now but I cannot help but worry about the future. On one hand I desire to trust in God’s providence and walk by faith to devote my time and energy serving in His ministries. On the other hand I hold onto my “earning potential” from a professional career. I am reminded that it is the Lord who provides the catch. It would be foolish for me to love these more than Jesus.
Again I also pondered on Peter inquiry about the future of John. The Lord replied, “What is that to you? You must follow me." Compare to last year, I felt like I had made some progress. I am much more focused on the Lord now; the envy and jealousy of others subsided. We each have to follow the Lord’s designated path for us. This year I note that while wanting to be my husband’s cheerful helper, I must follow Christ on my own, regardless of God's plan for him. Lord, have mercy and help me!
In addition I am blessed meditating on different Bible passages and church worship services. Christ has every power to reduce His pain in His last hours on the Cross. However He chose this path of suffering - Isa 53:5 “He was pierced through for our transgressions, He was crushed for our iniquities; The chastening for our well-being fell upon Him, And by His scourging we are healed. “ Isaiah 53 is a chapter I treasure and verse 5 particularly - there lies my hope for healing in the Lord!
The month of March has been very busy. I had several speaking engagements. I am very thankful for the opportunity to use my profession to outreach – asking friends to come to my workshop conducted at church. I was invited to speak on The Meaning of Life and Death Anxiety in a student-organized gathering. I took the opportunity to share my faith with students as well as my experience with breast cancer. I was very excited and thankful for the opportunity. Unfortunately during this time I got the flu real bad – fever for 2 days. I was real worried so I stopped almost everything and did only the minimal to manage. The illness had really held me back. However I also experienced the peace of God on the day I shared my faith with students. It was not “great” but I realized these are important baby steps for me to learn to share my faith more publicly and perhaps in my professional role. The joy is I am more convicted to share the Gospel with others, individually or in groups. May He use me in the days to come!
