November 5th Whose Helper Am I?

One of the lessons I learned when fighting breast cancer is that I should not be overly concerned with what I do. [I wrote this in my the blog http://www.goodfightdoris.blogspot.com: There is a part of me that wants to do significant and meaningful tasks in life that are worthwhile. I am learning not to judge or assign value on tasks and leave that judgment to my Lord. My duty is to complete His assignments faithfully regardless of its apparent worth in my eyes (which is often based on the secular value of success). I pray that I can fully trust the Lord’s leading and learn His path and not rely on my “shrewd” strategies.]

Today I read what I wrote and ask myself – how am I doing so far?

Well, one unexpected piece is that I am dealing with “whose helper am I”. Since I have this cheerful helper blog, I made clear to my husband I am not solely his helper – certainly don’t want to give him a blank cheque to order me around. : ) A few women friends are struggling as “husband’s helper” – when your husband is having an affair or temper problems or being overly adventurous … not too exciting! Woman as husband’s helper is a serious subject and I am not going to go into that now. Perhaps the Lord will grant me more insight in the future.

Whose helper am I? I notice that I assign value not only on tasks but also on people – is it “worthwhile” to help this person? There is usually a quick pros and cons calculation going on in my head, weighing the consequential outcome. Sometimes this evaluation is based on “fear,” cautioning myself not to end up on a pirate ship or a spider’s trap. I usually consider this evaluation justified and even necessary in work setting for survival. I do check people out! Well some prudence is still good but the wisdom and discernment should be from the Lord. Sometimes this evaluation is for my own good – whether helping this person would be advantageous for me in the long run – the utilitarian view. When it is a person in need, my compassion usually rules but still I evaluate if I can be of any "real" help. But sometimes God sends us there just to be with the person. Other times He wants us to make some sincere effort despite the circumstances. I pray that I would be able to trust in the sovereignty of God and leave the judgment of people to Him as well. He decides who He wants me to help.