The semester is almost over (currently it is exam and paper grading time) and I am much more relaxed now. Thus the irrational jealous feelings and negative thoughts somewhat subsided. It reminds me how stress is not only bad for our bodies, but also potentially bad for our souls as well. Nevertheless it is an opportunity for us to face who we are, our sinful nature and our frailty.
The only path to combat jealous feelings, negative thoughts and ultimately sin is to rely on the Lord and surrender to His sovereignty over us. When we actively yearn for the Lord’s love, He will become the only desire of our heart. When we seek His love for others, He will fill us with His love and there will be little room for jealousy and selfishness. When we are actively engaging in good deeds, we will be too busy to do bad things. It may not be easy though. It reminds me that in order to be a cheerful helper – the source of cheerfulness must be from Him.
Today was an anniversary too – last year May 4th I had my first chemotherapy shot. Today I paused to remember the Lord’s goodness; how He had carried me through and taught me to trust in Him.
Someone I knew died of a heart attack at 55. It is sad. He has so much more to contribute to the profession as well as to the church. I wondered again how many more years I would have. The Lord has His timing. Once more I commit my life in his hands. May he help me live each day for His sake and in His love!
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