This Monday I was hoping to do something “special” with Victor although I did not know exactly what I wanted. I ended up wasting time and feeling frustrated. As I prayed, I realized how much I want to hold onto life and experience memorable moments. Yet the more I hold onto life in my hands, the more I am losing it. I end up filling my days with fleeting pleasures and episodes after episodes of nothingness. I pray that I can let go.
At work I must say my motivation has been declining. Although I am managing alright, I was not the compulsive achiever any more. Last academic year I was eager to “recover” and go back on track. This year I felt the weariness and found it hard to push myself. I felt somewhat in a limbo because it is hard to say goodbye to certain passions.
On Tuesday during my devotion I was reminded:
But those who wait on the Lord
Shall renew their strength;
They shall mount up with wings like eagles,
They shall run and not be weary,
They shall walk and not faint. Isa 40:31 NKJV
Yesterday Victor and I spent time together praying for wisdom and discernment to make some choices. May the Lord help us walk in His path step by step.
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