March 1 Lesson on His Sovereign Will

Last week when I prepared for my Sunday school course, the lesson on Joseph forgiving his brothers touched me deeply. You have to read quite a number of chapters in Genesis to get the whole story about Joseph's journey. This is the verse that summarizes a lot:

Genesis 45:19-21:
[19 But Joseph said to them, "Don't be afraid. Am I in the place of God? 20 You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives. 21 So then, don't be afraid. I will provide for you and your children." And he reassured them and spoke kindly to them.]

There are 2 things I noted:
1) Joseph embraced the sovereign will of God: “Am I in the place of God?” - Joseph acknowledged his place as human and therefore he should not pass judgement on others or circumstances in the place of God. Joseph would not take matters in his own hands as if he had the right to pay back his brothers. While his brothers had intended to harm him, God had intended good. Our God alone is in control of all things and all things work in Him for the good of those who love him. Let's trust in His sovereign will for us and for His creation!

2) The “good” God intended was not about Joseph leading a happily-ever-after life when he was finally elevated to a powerful position as ruler of Eygpt (45:8). Rather it was the accomplishment of God’s will - the saving of many lives. [May He use us to bring salvation even to those who have intended to hurt or harm us!] Joseph's journey to reunite with his family was a painful one. Weeping occurred quite a few times in describing Joseph 42:24, 30(2 times), 45:14 (2 times), 45:19, 46:29, 50:1, 3, 17. Yet it was not about his personal fulfillment and success that moved him deeply. The ultimate joy for Joseph was not his personal advancement but in the saving of many lives according to God's plan.

One more time I surrender myself to God’s sovereign will in my life. The Lord has blessed me and comforted me with Isaiah 54:16-17 on weekend:

16 "See, it is I who created the blacksmith who fans the coals into flame and forges a weapon fit for its work. And it is I who have created the destroyer to work havoc;
17 no weapon forged against you will prevail, and you will refute every tongue that accuses you.
This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord, and this is their vindication from me," declares the Lord.


God is sovereign. He is the creator of all things. He can restrain harmful things in our lives. He can also use them to achieve His own purpose.

In the meantime I have been busy enjoying everything – good food, fellowship, ministry, devotional reading, etc. Thank you for all your kind words and support!

Psalm 131

Psalm 131

v.1 O Lord, my heart is not proud, nor my eyes haughty;
Nor do I involve myself in great matters,
Or in things too difficult for me.
v.2 Surely I have composed and quieted my soul;
Like a weaned child rests against his mother,
My soul is like a weaned child within me.
v.3 O Israel, hope in the Lord
From this time forth and forever. (NASB)


I went to the doctor at Princess Margaret Hospital on Chinese New Year Eve for check-up and I felt a sense of doom that the recurrence of cancer is inevitable. My immediate reaction - what I can (or should) do with my shortened life? The Lord granted me this Psalm on Chinese New Year’s Eve to sleep on.

This Psalm by David lifted my soul and yet grounded me back to reality. The circumstance has humbled me so that my heart is not proud and my eyes do not aim high. I do not need to always seek a challenging path or strive for excellence, significance, or success…

Lord, help me become grounded in your will and your way and be contented like a weaned child. I am praying to compose and silence my soul. The analogy of a weaned child is marvelous – no longer demanding the mother’s breast milk for immediate gratification or comfort. I have been a fussy demanding baby! But for now, let me learn to securely rest in the mother’s presence. Indeed His love is sufficient. His providence will give me what I really need. I can be satisfied with His good gifts.

Jan 30 2011 Good and bad news

Hello! It has been a while and I finally managed to make a blog entry. I was swarmed with the new semester of work, preparing for new courses. So far I have been doing well – living joyfully each day and cherishing the things I get to do and the people I can be with.
Well I discovered a lump on my left breast a while ago and had given quite some thought to the recurrence of cancer. I had an ultrasound and then a mammogram. Yes, I do have a tumor (benign at this point) and there is additional calcification as compared to last year. I have to monitor closely and get another ultrasound in 2-3 months. These are not delightful news. However I am more determined to live life joyfully and do what the Lord wills. I re-read Hezekiah’s healing account and once again I committed myself to live humbly for the Lord in the days to come.
I am doing quite a few things during this time. I started the Sunday school class on forgiveness in early January and we are half-way through now into the 5th session. I also started the Bible study with mainland students a few weeks ago. [Do you know that last year around this time I discovered my breast lump while waiting for the students to come for the Bible study? So I did get a bit panicky on that day when they came for the Bible study. Déjà vu!] We are studying on the Parables of Christ and I started off with The Prodigal Son – I shared the Gospel directly [more aggressive as compared to last year.] Please pray that I can invite more students to come and that they would be prepared to receive His wonderful salvation.
Well I still have other plans! But perhaps the Lord is teaching me that I will need to renew this “license” every few months – I cannot be sure if the tumor would go the wrong way. James 4:13-16 “13 Now listen, you who say, "Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money." 14 Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. 15 Instead, you ought to say, "If it is the Lord's will, we will live and do this or that."
So I do ask for your faithful prayers – that the Lord will keep me cancer free. I am praying for courage to embrace His sovereign will in my life, whatever that may be. I am also praying for courage to embrace my bodily weakness, as well as other mental and spiritual weaknesses.
Have I been a cheerful helper? I would say YES! --- and placing my faith, hope and love in Him.

Dec 20 Mary, the Lord's Servant

I finally finished grading the students’ papers. I must say it was tiring. Not sure if they would carefully read my feedback; nevertheless I have to do my part faithfully.

This blog is different from my “Good Fight” blog. It is as if being a cheerful helper is optional. It is not urgent, not life or death. I am not as desperate soliciting for prayer support. This blog has become more of a personal spiritual discipline, helping me anchor and reflect so that I am not lost in busy activities. It keeps me accountable to you somehow, whoever you maybe.

This week I made a commitment to the Lord - to trust that the Holy Spirit’s leading is sufficient and that I only need to respond accordingly. I am so keenly aware of the limitations of my “analytical” mind. I cannot figure out many things – relationships, group dynamics, future plans, research projects, health management, etc.. Well this commitment should in some way be expected for Christ's followers! I have a renewed understanding as I ponder on Mary (and the Magnificat) during this Christmas season. Her response to the Angel Gabriel was amazing: “I am the Lord’s servant,” Mary answered. “May your word to me be fulfilled.” (Luke 1: 38) She embraced the blessed call with the most humble heart, without trying to fathom beyond what she was told.

In the Magnificat: “He has scattered the proud in the imagination of their hearts.”(New King James) OR [He has scattered those who are proud in their inmost thoughts. (NIV)] (Luke 1:51)

Dear Lord, scatter my proud imaginations. Purify my innermost thoughts and feelings! Help me not to try figure things out as if I can comprehend Your perfect will. Rather help me become your servant cheerfully, waiting for Your will to be fulfilled.

Dec 8 Thankful for Joy

I have not written for quite a few weeks.

During this time, I re-examined my life again in facing the possibility of cancer recurrence. I come to terms that I do not have a “clean bill of health.” Rather, I have to take good care of my body and get proper checks to monitor the side effects of treatment as well as a possible recurrence. I pray for His guidance to do what needs to be done and yet rest in His sovereignty, trusting that His love can carry me through in all circumstances. I will live life fully and not count how many years I may have. Rather I would count His blessings (thanks to a friend reminding me with the song Count Your Blessings)and I expect plenty in the days to come.

Last Wednesday was the last day of class. Before one realizes it, the semester is over. During class presentation, a couple of students mimic me and it was hilarious! I suddenly realized I had such a good time this semester despite physical ailments. It was a joyful and blessed semester. I was most thankful that I “discovered” my love for the students: I do care a lot about their growth and development. It is good to feel more of my heart in my teaching. I pray that the Lord will direct me in sharing the gospel here – my faith is central and it would be quite difficult to share my life without sharing Christ.

Thank God for giving me great joy in teaching – feeling pretty cheerful as His helper!

Nov 10 Tribute to the Silent Helpers

When studying Matthews 6, I am reminded that good deeds should be done in secret for the Lord rather than before men for the honor and applaud. Matthew 6:1 "Beware of practicing your righteousness before men to be noticed by them; otherwise you have no reward with your Father who is in heaven.” The passage continues to apply it to 1) giving to the poor, 2) praying, and 3) fasting. There are some unique contrasts between hypocrites and followers of Christ. Hypocrites do it for show to be adored and admired. Believers do it in secret and without the self-consciousness of “doing good.” Repeatedly the passage states that “our Father in secret” and “our Father who sees in secret” rewards these acts done in secret.

There are many quiet helpers around us we may not have usually noticed and showed appreciation. But sometimes we can them very near. Last week we heard the sad news about the volunteer who died in a car accident while delivering winter clothes to children in 玉樹. We become aware of his good deeds only in his death. There are many silent helpers around us.
Today I praise God for some of these people I know – a friend who went on a short term medical mission in Haiti, a person who is active in a fellowship for individuals with developmental disabilities… I hope I will notice more quiet helpers and learn from them.

Lord, I pray that I won’t be too self conscious about being a helper. Hopefully it becomes natural for me to help joyfully. There are many inspiring role models around us, they help others because they Love God with all their heart, mind and soul and love their neighbor as themselves.

November 5th Whose Helper Am I?

One of the lessons I learned when fighting breast cancer is that I should not be overly concerned with what I do. [I wrote this in my the blog http://www.goodfightdoris.blogspot.com: There is a part of me that wants to do significant and meaningful tasks in life that are worthwhile. I am learning not to judge or assign value on tasks and leave that judgment to my Lord. My duty is to complete His assignments faithfully regardless of its apparent worth in my eyes (which is often based on the secular value of success). I pray that I can fully trust the Lord’s leading and learn His path and not rely on my “shrewd” strategies.]

Today I read what I wrote and ask myself – how am I doing so far?

Well, one unexpected piece is that I am dealing with “whose helper am I”. Since I have this cheerful helper blog, I made clear to my husband I am not solely his helper – certainly don’t want to give him a blank cheque to order me around. : ) A few women friends are struggling as “husband’s helper” – when your husband is having an affair or temper problems or being overly adventurous … not too exciting! Woman as husband’s helper is a serious subject and I am not going to go into that now. Perhaps the Lord will grant me more insight in the future.

Whose helper am I? I notice that I assign value not only on tasks but also on people – is it “worthwhile” to help this person? There is usually a quick pros and cons calculation going on in my head, weighing the consequential outcome. Sometimes this evaluation is based on “fear,” cautioning myself not to end up on a pirate ship or a spider’s trap. I usually consider this evaluation justified and even necessary in work setting for survival. I do check people out! Well some prudence is still good but the wisdom and discernment should be from the Lord. Sometimes this evaluation is for my own good – whether helping this person would be advantageous for me in the long run – the utilitarian view. When it is a person in need, my compassion usually rules but still I evaluate if I can be of any "real" help. But sometimes God sends us there just to be with the person. Other times He wants us to make some sincere effort despite the circumstances. I pray that I would be able to trust in the sovereignty of God and leave the judgment of people to Him as well. He decides who He wants me to help.